The Phobia List
by TheEvilPinkCupcake
Summary: "Phobias: a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it." There are possibly hundreds. And they all came up in the lives of the Marauders and Lily Evans. Wow. (Series of one-shots related to phobias. Each chapter is one phobia, and I'm going down the list.)
1. Ablutophobia

**A/N **

**HEY! NEW 'STORY' Actually it's kind of like a collection of one shots, all related to phobias. I'm using and I'm going down the list. Hopefully I can do every single one. Some will be more serious and others will be more of comedy. ^^ Hope you enjoy:**

**Disclaimer: All rights to JK Rowling. Except for the idea. THAT'S MINE. :)**

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**Ablutophobia is the fear of washing or bathing.**

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BOOM! The whole world seemed to shake as blue fog and green smoke puffed out from under the door. Lily Evans felt her chair disappear from underneath her as she fell flat on her bottom onto the cold stone floor. The same seemed to have happened to her fellow classmates as Professor McGonagall emerged from the shadows, coughing out glitter.

"What is the meaning of this—Potter! Black! What have you done!" She screeched, pointing a long bony finger at the two boys, who were grinning from ear to ear, not at all fazed.

"Just making Transfiguration class more interesting, Professor—" began Sirius.

"We used _Sedes ad Fulgendum._" Potter continued, "Aren't you proud of us? Applying theories to the real world!"

"I hardly think that you would be turning chairs to glitter in the real world, Potter, but because you seem to _enjoy_ Transfiguration so much, you shall write a twelve-inch essay on Transfiguration applications in real life. To be handed in today at eight o'clock sharp for your detention. You too, Mr. Black."

"An essay _and_ a detention? That is so unfair!"

"It is perfectly fair. What is unfair is me having to end class early—and before I forget, a ten-inch essay on turning a pine cone to a teacup. To be handed in tomorrow."

The entire class groaned.

"If you can't practice, at least you must know the theory. You can thank Mr. Potter and Mr. Black. Class dismissed. I suggest you all go and clean up before your next class." McGonagall attempted to look threatening and strict, but as she walked away, excess glitter fluttered to the ground, making it look like a trail of pixie dust. Her cold demeanor was shattered as the class imagined her as a little fairy, flying around and waving a wand at people.

James and Sirius snickered.

Lily sighed. Transfiguration had been completely ruined by those two hoodlums—Potter and Black. She was really looking forward to making a teacup from a pine-cone, but instead she got an essay about the _theory._ What good was theory in the real world?

She trudged down to the Gryffindor common room, prepared to go with her friends to her next class: Charms. If she was hoping for fifteen minutes of peace and quiet, her wish wasn't granted.

The Marauders were sitting around a square table, playing Exploding Snap.

James looked up just as the cards exploded in Peter's face.

He leaped up, looking absolutely ridiculous as he was still covered in colorful glitter.

Lily stared. "Why didn't you shower? You look stupid and ridiculous."

"Oh, please. I look amazing—as usual. I just didn't feel like showering because I know that I look amazing no matter what!"

Lily let out a very unladylike snort. "Sure," she said sarcastically. "You got ablutophobia or something?"

"A blue toe? No, I'm sure that my toes are a perfect shade of peach, but thanks for asking."

She sighed. "Ablutophobia, Potter. It means 'fear of washing or bathing'."

James looked affronted, "I definitely do not have that! THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I shower every day!"

Chortling at his gobsmacked expression, Lily swung her bookbag over her shoulder and walked out the portrait hole.

James stared after her. Then, with a sudden movement, he gathered up all his things in a frenzy, his nose scrunched up in annoyance.

"What on Earth are you doing? Where are you going?" Peter asked. Had James lost his mind?

"I'm going to go take a shower!" He hollered back at them, not even stopping to look back.

He ran up the stairs, leaving behind a trail of glitter.

He reminded them of a fairy.

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**A/N**

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed the first 'chapter'.**

**I'm not sure if I want all the one-shots to go in order, but we'll see.**

**Review :)**

**Thanks and bye,**

**TheEvilPinkCupcake**


	2. Acarophobia

**A/N**

**Chapter 2 YAHOO :D**

**So I only got one review for the last one, but it's completely understandable because it's hard to get good publicity with the first chapter of a fanfic. But a lot of people still read it and I hope you guys will enjoy this one too ^^**

**Disclaimer: I'm JK Rowling. JK, I'm not. LOL See what I did there? Because JK, I'm not, so I'm not JK Rowling, or JUST KIDDING, I'm not...HAHAH. Okay never mind I'm too weird.**

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**Acarophobia is the fear of itching or insects that cause itching.**

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"JAMES!" Sirius Black yelled, running across the field and nearly knocking over some timid first years in the process, "PRONGS!"

The boy looked up; a trace of his wistful face still remained. There was no question as to what he was doing before. He had been admiring Lily Evans, who was currently doing her homework only ten feet away.

"Padfoot!" James' face broke into a smile when he saw his childhood best friend. 'What've you got there?"

Sirius had his hands cupped together and he was bouncing on the balls of his feet, like an excited dog. "LOOK!" He hollered again, unable to contain himself.

"Would you mind?" came an irritated voice from none other than the redhead James was obsessed with, "Some of us are trying to do our homework."

"Only you, Lily," Marlene laughed, as she received a glare from Lily.

"LOOK!" Sirius repeated, drawing the attention back to himself.

Lily sighed, "If you've got some illegal…thing or something under there, I swear to god…"

"It's not illegal! LOOK!" He uncapped his hand and in his left palm were four small insects, scurrying around. "I found them by the lake! They're _Temurius_, very rare!"

"What are they? They're hideous!"

"You'll hurt their feelings, James, they cause extreme rashes and irritation. These even cause hallucin—"

He had not finished his sentence yet, but James reeled back suddenly and cried, "Stay away from me!"

Lily raised an eyebrow. James was afraid, of all things, bugs that caused rashes?

"I'm not going to do anything!" Sirius muttered, a little put out by his best friend's unwelcome reaction.

The bugs leaped (yes,leaped) from his hand, right onto James' hair. It was at least a three feet jump, and Sirius yelled loudly as it happened. Lily, who could have solved this problem easily, only stood by and laughed at James' ridiculous moves as he jumped around.

"Get it off me! Get it off me!" He hollered over and over, before he collapsed into a pile. A red mark was already appearing on his cheek.

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Seriously? A broom cupboard? That was so overdone, so cliché. Fifth-years should have known better than to snog in a broom cupboard; everyone knew about those 'hiding places' and they were bound to get caught.

It was nighttime now, and Lily was doing her Head Girl rounds—by herself, today, because James had been attacked by those stupid magical fleas.

He had been sent to the hospital wing in a flurry, as the bugs hadn't wanted to leave him and were still busy causing rashes everywhere. _Everywhere._

Speaking of the hospital wing, there it was…

Madam Pomfrey wouldn't mind if she visited just for a little while…

Quietly, Lily pushed open the doors and entered. Her shoes made a faint tapping noise on the cold marble ground, but other than that, there was only the noise of—oh, James' snoring, of course.

She tiptoed next to his bed and looked at his calm and peaceful face.

His eyes opened suddenly, and Lily gasped. "Oh, did I wake you?" What was he going to think now? Who would have thought Lily Evans would visit James Potter in the hospital in the middle of the night?

"Nah, couldn't sleep," he said quietly, studying her facial expression.

"Well, I just wanted to see if you were alright? From the bug incident, you know," she continued awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm okay. The same thing kind of happened in fifth year too. I was in here for a week. Sirius and bugs…not a good combination; that's why I freaked out earlier. I didn't want to be covered in warts again…I've been a bit acarophobic ever since."

Lily laughed quietly, not knowing what to say.

James sighed all of a sudden. "You're a hallucination, aren't you? The real Evans would never care about me. She's probably going to laugh about it for a week or so. You almost feel real."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a hallucination." Thank god she had found an 'explanation'. "Well, good that you're doing okay." She turned to leave.

"I do love you, you know." It was spoken as low as a whisper, a tiny breeze that shot straight into her ear and weaved its way down to her heart.

She turned back to the boy, but he had already fallen asleep and was snoring again. Lily stared for a few seconds, then turned and slowly walked out the door.

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**A/N**

**ADORABLENESS? I THINK YES.**

**Review? I THINK YES.**

**ILY :D**

**-TheEvilPinkCupcake**


	3. Acerophobia

**A/N**

**Wow, another update!**

**Yeah, you're welcome.**

**Enjoy :) (Disclaimer applies)**

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**Acerophobia: Fear of sourness**

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"What _are_ you going to do, Lily? You _never_ play pranks on people!"

"Potter got me my first detention! Ever! Do you know how horrible that is? I can't believe Binns gave me detention because _Potter _threw a wad of paper and me and I threw it back at him but it missed and went right through Binns! Can you believe that? That is so unfair! Do you know how hard I worked to to keep my record squeaky clean? This calls for revenge! Revenge, I tell you!" Lily ranted. She seemed quite…_passionate_ about the subject…

Speak of the devil—there he was. James Potter, the one person who seemed to have aroused the inner demon in the redhead in only a matter of minutes.

"Potter," called Lily matter-of-factly, "Um, so you know how you got me in trouble yesterday in History of Magic?"

Obviously, Lily was not very experienced with pranking and subtlety.

James anxiously rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, why?"

"Uh, so…that was my first detention and Marlene here made me get you a _present_ because you broke my goody-goody streak."

That was probably the worst lie Lily had every told. Worst not as in it was inhumane or horrible, but as in unplausible and fabricated. Lily had always been a bad liar, but this, this was a whole new level, and she didn't even know why she was so nervous all of a sudden. It must be because it was her first prank, yes, that must be it…

Nevertheless, Potter seemed gobsmacked—not at the reason, but at the fact that Lily Evans was right here in front of him, handing him a bag of candy. Getting presents from Lily was something that had only been in his dreams…

"Padfoot, did you _see_ that? Did you? Unbelievable, right? I can't believe _Lily Evans_ gave me candy!"

"…Well, can I have one?"

"No way, Sirius! Do you know how _rare_ that is? How _amazing_? It'll probably never happen again! No sir, I'll be keeping this bag of candy under my pillow till it rots!" He suddenly made a face, "Or maybe not. Either way, _I'll_ be the one eating this magical candy."

Magical candy? Oh, how right he was.

"James!" came a squeaky voice that could only belong to Peter Pettigrew, "I got a date to Hogsmeade!"

"That's great, Wormtail," James waved him off.

"I won the bet!"

"Bet? What bet?"

Sirius suddenly gave a laugh. "Remember? You said that if Peter could manage to get a date to Hogsmeade, you would give him one thing, no matter what it is!"

James paled. How stupid of him! Peter could ask for anything. _Anything._

But the ratlike boy was eying the bag of candy with desire. "I want that candy."

"What? No way! Lily gave me this!"

"I won the bet, James," Peter whined. "And I want the candy!"

"But-"

"Rules are rules, Prongs," Sirius said, resigned, "And you lost. Sorry, give up your precious sweets."

Peter gave a great hoot and snatched the bag from James' hand.

He popped candy after candy into his mouth and then lifted up a lollipop.

With the same force, he ripped off the wrapping and stuck it into his mouth.

"Oooh, it's kind of sour!" He said excitedly. He went on sucking on the lollipop, but then…

His face went from happiness to pain. He opened his mouth and the pop dropped out.

Peter screamed, and then began to cry.

"Oh my god! What happened?"

He stuck out his tongue—there was a huge hole.

James gasped. Of course. Acid Pops. Dang it, Lily.

Word travelled quickly, and before long, Lily had heard that the Marauders were at the Hospital Wing. With a gleeful cackle, she began on her way to mock them. Oh Potter must have learned his lesson. How brilliant of her! The first prank she ever did, and boy, was it a success! Lily was feeling quite proud of herself when—

"Lily! Look what you did to Peter!"

Peter?!

She looked. "What—no! That was meant for Potter! How could—"

Potter bit back a grin. It was obvious he was trying not to laugh because of his friend's pain, but it was just too funny how Lily had been so proud of herself, when all along, her plan had backfired.

"Didn't go the way you wanted it to, did it?"

Lily huffed angrily. Her first prank—ruined! Just like her perfect no-detention record!

Two things ruined in two days by one person!

Potter, like always, interrupted her train of thought.

"Well, Peter's surely going to be acerophobic after this!"

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**A/N**

**Yeah. Not _that_ fluffy.**

**But you can't have everything in life :P**

**Review and get a cookie. :)**

**-TheEvilPinkCupcake**


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